The Weeping Widower
by MissMushy
Summary: After a serious accident; Tony loses someone close to his heart. After a stern talk that opens up his eyes, Tony realizes that there's one person who needs him now more than ever.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hi, new story that has been in the works since Berlin. I hope everyone likes it. I want to make a shout out to Pancho1993 who has gladly proof read this, so they shouldn't be any mistakes and helped me come up with a summary for an idea since I am not so good at them. Also if you read Tears of Destruction please look to my profile on a update of that. **_

_**Have a nice summer and I will hopefully update fairly soon **_

_**-MissMushy**_

* * *

He grasped at her hand weakly, trying to get some contact with his wife and unborn child after the horrific crash that they were just in. He knew that his hand was covered in both his and his wife's blood but that didn't stop him from trying to maintain a miniscule amount of contact. He coughed softly and red flecks of blood adjourned his dry lips. He licked them slowly to try to get some moisture into them but only tasted the copper of the blood. His head felt heavy compared to the weightlessness that he felt from everywhere else in his body.

"Ziva…" He choked out as more flecks of blood splattered onto his crimson tinged lips. His eyes drooped shut as he couldn't stop the wariness that coursed his veins anymore. "Love…you…" He coughed and finally gave into the unconsciousness and thought up of a place where they were happily welcoming their unborn child into a world that was too vast for them to understand yet.

The next time he woke he could tell that blue and red lights flashed in the distance without having to crack open his eyes. His bloodied hand groped for his wife's hand only to be met by empty air. He managed to slowly crack open a heavy eye and stared at the blood that seeped into the leather of the passenger seat. He felt like he couldn't breathe at the missing space beside him.

"Zee…" He whispered softly into the empty space. He coughed once more. "Ziva!" he shouted at the top of his lungs which in his state was less than half of his usual capacity as his chest constricted and slowed his breathing. He tried to get out of the car only to be stopped by sharp stabbing pains jolting up and down his left leg and side. He screamed out in pain as his leg felt like it was within a vice that was being tautened up to its maximum capacity.

Suddenly he felt cool hands slowly wrap around his neck, stopping him from making any movement that could damage him more than he already was. Those hands were swiftly replaced by unforgiving plastic that hindered any miniscule movement that he could make.

"Who…Who are you?" Tony whispered softly as he felt his chest constricting even more.

"I'm Mike. I'm one of the paramedics that are working on getting you out of here okay?" The voice sounded as though the person had been smoking thirty cigarettes a day for his life, a typical wheeze at the end of each word and a sound that made him sound like he ate gravel for breakfast. "I think it's going to take some time to get you out of here so I think it's going to be best that we're on first name basis with each other okay? So what's your name?"

"Tony. I'm an NCIS agent." Tony choked out before giving way to a coughing fit which allowed some more blood to dribble out of his mouth. "Where's Ziva? The woman…who was next…to me…"

"Okay Tony. She's been taken to Bethesda where she's going to receive the best medical care as possible okay? While we were trying to get her out we lost her once but we managed to get her back quickly. Unfortunately she didn't wake up while she was here, I don't know if she has on the way to Bethesda." Mike spoke softly and calmly and took a deep breath before carrying on. He hated to give such depressing information in this situation to a spouse or friend who was still waiting to be freed. "Tony, she's lost a lot of blood before someone called us here. I'm sorry but I don't think she's going to survive long. With any luck the firefighters will work quickly so we can get you to her as soon as possible."

Tony squirmed in his seat which set off the sharp pains in his leg again that had just recently dulled down. He groaned softly at the pain before getting his breathing back under control and started to talk. "She's pregnant Mike." A tear slipped down his face. "Tell them…Tell them she's pregnant. They're going to need to know."

"Okay Tony. Can you tell me how far along she is? It might help if they decide to deliver her early so the baby can have the best chance of survival." Mike quickly replied and got on the radio to dispatch to rely the information about the young woman.

"Twenty three weeks." Tony wheezed harshly and tried to catch his breath, this time the process was aided by an oxygen mask being slipped on around his face and turned on to full oxygen output.

"Okay, take deep breaths Tony. You've got plenty of oxygen around you, deep slow breaths… that's it Tony." Mike coaxed softly. "Can you tell me out of ten, ten being unbearable and zero being none at all, how much pain are you in at the moment Tony?"

Tony thought for a moment and kept taking deep breaths through the oxygen mask before replying, "Nine."

"Where is most of that pain coming from Tony?" Mike asked quickly and jotted down notes on the back of his latex glove that covered his left hand.

"Left leg…Chest…" Tony wheezed softly. So softly that mike had to listen more intently to catch the reply.

"Alex I need an IV, a bag of saline and 2mg of morphine STAT." Mike shouted over the sound of the firefighters working. "Tony, what I'm going to set an IV in your hand and use that to give you the morphine and the saline. I'm going to give you saline because you're starting to get dehydrated and I don't want that to be a huge problem." He received a small curt nod back from Tony and a minute later Alex was passing the equipment through the back window to him. It took less than a minute to situate the IV in Tony's right hand and hooked the saline bag onto a piece of metal that jutted out of the roof.

"Can…Can I… call…someone…?" Tony asked softly to Mike as he slowly moved his left hand to grasp the headrest behind him.

"If you keep the mask on, you can." Mike answered back and fished out his cell phone; he placed it gently into Tony's hand and let him begin his call.

It rang three times before the other person picked up and curtly answered, _"Yeah, Gibbs."_

"Boss…"Tony replied breathlessly. "Me and…Ziva have been…in a crash…She's at hos…hospital…Get Duck there…"

"_Where are you Tony? You're at hospital too right? What happened?" _ The older man rapid fired like artillery fire.

"Still stuck…in car…legs trapped…Come here…" Tony wheezed harshly and handed the cell shakily back to Mike.

"Hello? I know your Tony's boss but I need to know who his next of kin is in case he losses consciousness." Mike spoke quickly into the cell.

"_I am and call me Gibbs instead of 'Tony's boss.' How is he?"_

"At the moment he's enjoying a nice dose of morphine that's easing the pain in his chest and leg, unfortunately I'm guessing that he's still in pain but it's more bearable than having nothing cursing through those veins of his."

"_Okay. Can you tell me where the accident is? It might be best for me to be on scene if things get hairy with him."_

"I think that's best Gibbs. Corner of Sheridan and 42nd."

"_I'll be there in ten and tell him not to do anything stupid." _Gibbs quickly replied before abruptly hanging up on the paramedic.

"Okay Tony, Gibbs is on his way, he'll be here in ten minutes. Is there anything you need?" Mike asked softly as he pocketed his cell again.

Tony mumbled a soft "No." in pain as he breathed in the much needed oxygen. "How long?" He asked as a second thought a millisecond after he replied negative.

"To get you out?" Mike clarified on the vague answer. Tony nodded softly and heard instant whispering going on behind him. "Tony, you have to remember that they're doing their best as quickly as they can. It's going to be at least another half hour maybe an hour, their worried about a gas leak at the moment but I'm going to stay with you no matter what. After all I wouldn't be a good medic if I left my patient would I?" He asked rhetorically to the back of the agent's head.

"I'm screwed." The muttered sentence lost underneath the muffling of the mask that was securely around his face.

"I think you need to get your mind off being stuck here at the moment so if you don't mind can you tell me about your wife? It'll help in making you not think about the firefighters working around you." Mike coaxed.

"Zee…She's…She's perfect, the…best wife I could have…We've been married four years…tomorrow…" Tony smiled softly at the memory of him proposing to her in the pouring rain on an aircraft carrier while they were investigating it.

"Congrats on the marriage. The longest I've lasted is eleven months." Mike praised. "Just one question though Tony. You've been married four years but this is your first time having a baby, why wait till now?"

"Work." Tony huffed softly. "It got in the way… then personal stuff….more work…Just had the chance…this year…"

"I hear ya on the work situation. My ex divorced me because I was working double shifts so we could pay for this ridiculously expensive house that she wanted to live in. She liked the house just didn't like that I pretty much didn't live in it."

"Let me guess…She got the house in…the divorce…" Tony replied and forced himself to breathe deeper into the mask.

"Yep, thank god. Last I heard was she was being repossessed because she hadn't paid the bills on the house since I moved out. So, twenty three weeks along. Do you know what gender the baby is yet or do you want that to be a surprise?"

"It's a boy…Gonna have a boy that I…can teach football to…and keep him away from…being a cop…" Tony beamed.

"Well Tony, I think you're going to be a great dad when the little kid arrives." Mike boasted lightly.

"It's going to be…great…" Tony shakily raised his left hand and corded his fingers through his hair. "Is my boss here?" He asked.

Mike looked around, through the expanse of emergency workers and spotted a charger slowly pulling up just in front of the cordoned off area, the man inside quickly shut off the engine and started to jog lightly towards them. "Um, does your boss have grey military cut hair?"

"Yeah…That's him." Tony replied softly.

"He's here." Mike stated as Gibbs quickly came to a halt next to the car and knelt down beside the driver side door. He grabbed hold of Tony's arm lightly through the broken window.

"Hey DiNozzo." Gibbs greeted softly and squeezed the arm in his hold lightly. "How ya holding up?"

"Just peachy boss." Tony replied. "Ziva?"

"I don't know yet. I dropped Duck off at the hospital to check for us then came straight here. I don't know how you do it, I give you a day off and expect you to not get into trouble but you manage to go injure yourself more than you do when you're on duty." Gibbs shook his head lightly.

"Not my fault..." Tony replied and made eye contact with Gibbs. "a car T-boned us..."

"Okay. Don't worry about it right now just focus on staying calm." Gibbs interrupted his tirade of what happened before he could make himself even more out of breath.

* * *

It had been two hours since Gibbs had arrived at the scene and the emergency workers didn't seem as though they were getting anywhere fast, numerous attempts at trying to pull Tony out of the wreckage had failed, daylight was soon fading but thankfully spotlights from NCIS and the fire department was soon being set up. Tony had faded in and out of consciousness throughout the time period from a couple of fast acting doses of morphine to ease the pain that flared up again in his leg and chest.

"Boss..." Tony whispered. The older man hadn't once moved away from where he initially crouched. "'m tired."

"Come on DiNozzo. Stay with me, it won't be much longer. Just think that Ziva and the baby are waiting for you at the hospital. You're going to get out of here fine, just trust me." Gibbs coaxed lightly. He could hear whispers going on between Mike and the firefighters in the backseat but couldn't make out what they were speaking.

"Ziva?" Tony asked for the millionth time.

"I don't know. Duck will ring me as soon as he can with information okay. You know that he will." Gibbs comforted.

"Gibbs, we'd like to speak to you privately." Mike spoke as he started to climb out of the backseat which was quickly replaced by Alex. Together the two men walked away from the wreck, making sure that they were out of hearing range for Tony.

"You want to try a different method?" Gibbs asked curtly.

"There's no easy way of saying this Gibbs but we've exhausted all the other options and the light is fading fast. For the amount of time that he's been trapped there we are going to have to amputate if we get him out because of the dead muscles in the lower leg, so we're going to look at amputating his leg roughly 5 inches above his knee. However we can't do that unless we have permission from him or the next of kin."

Gibbs looked at Mike before replying, "It's his decision Mike. If he doesn't want an amputation to happen I won't force him, but if the time comes when I need to step in I will." He turned and took a few steps towards the wreck before his cell started to ring, he quickly grabbed it off its belt hook and glanced at the caller ID. It was Ducky. He picked it up and spoke softly. "Any news Duck?"

"Okay." He said, his voice losing a little hope.

"That's great. I'll tell him, no. He's still in the wreck; they're looking at an amputation now to get him out."

"No, he doesn't know yet."

"It's not my decision Duck. Yeah, I'm telling him. No I can't not tell him, he's like a human lie detector when it comes to Ziva."

"Okay I'll see you later." He spoke before he closed his cell and returned it to its former place. He swiftly walked back to the wreck in silence with Mike and returned to crouching down next to Tony.

"What was that about?" Tony breathed softly as he made minimal eye contact with Gibbs.

"Mike wanted to discuss different ways of getting you out." Gibbs took a deep breath before carrying on. "Tony, they want us to think about an amputation as one option…"

"No." Tony shouted. "You're not going to cut off my damn leg."

"It's looking like its going to be the only option soon DiNozzo. The lights fading fast and it's getting colder by the second, we're not going to have time to get you out before you get hypothermia from just sitting there. Mike also says that with the amount of time that you've been stuck here, it's likely that because of the lack of blood to your foot, the muscles are dead and even if they get you out of here without amputation they are going to have to amputate in Bethesda because of sepsis." Gibbs ranted.

"No. You're not going to do anything to my leg. I'll kill you if you override my wishes." Tony spoke adamantly.

"Tony, Think about your family, they would rather want you alive and missing a limb rather than you being dead because you were too bull headed to think about what's best for yourself." Gibbs spoke, his voice rising in tempo with every word he pronounced.

"My _family _should respect my damn wishes. If I don't want an amputation to happen then they should respect that." Tony retorted back harshly.

"Okay, okay. I won't push you any further on the subject." Gibbs soothed and grasped Tony's left hand lightly again.

"You heard anything about Ziva?" Tony asked softly.

Gibbs sighed softly, "Yeah. Yeah I did, but I think we should wait until we've got you free okay?"

"No." Tony groaned out in pain as the latest dose of morphine started to wear out. "Tell me. Stop treating me like a damn five year old Gibbs and treat me like your second in command like I am."

"Ziva...I'm sorry Tony. She...hasn't made it. She died in surgery to attempt to stop the bleeding." Gibbs spoke softly and felt tears come prick at his eyes. He saw the young Israeli woman more as a daughter than a co-worker and felt her death almost coming to par with the deaths of Shannon and Kelly.

Tony sobbed loudly, feeling tears run freely down his face; he made no attempt at wiping them away instead they slowly clung to his face and started to dry out. It felt like the beating piece of his heart had been ripped out left a dark, devoured mess behind for someone to fix. Someone to try and fix something that was broken beyond repair after that final breath that his wife took.

'_My wife and child are dead, they're dead and they're not coming back. What else do I have left to lose?"_ Tony asked himself as he heard the garbled words of condolences from the emergency services that scattered the site. _'I have nothing.' _He answered back within his head and closed his eyes. He willed himself into unconsciousness, where he wasn't the grieving widower that was left behind from a horrible car wreck.

His breathing slowed down to almost nothing behind the mask, the perspiration created from his harsh breathes quickly faded to nothing and he felt his whole body fall lax underneath various hands that gripped the upper part of his body. The last thing that he heard and felt was the tightening of Gibbs' strong, calloused hands around his and the man's gruff voice barking at Mike to do everything he could to save his agent.

* * *

Unaware of the world around him and the decisions going on without him, his mind thought back to a cold, rainy winters day almost five years ago.

_For the week before hand they had been working almost around the clock to solve the latest case. He and Ziva were lagging behind McGee and Gibbs who were dragging their screaming suspect off the aircraft carrier that they were on._

"_Zee, hold on." Tony shouted over the pounding rain and the hustle and bustle of the carrier as well as the city in the background. He came to a stop in the middle of the carrier, getting even more drenched by the second._

"_Tony, can it wait until we're in somewhere dry, like the car? You're soaked through to the bone!" Ziva replied as she grasped Tony by his forearm and tried to pull him along but Tony dug his heels into the tarmac and refused to move a single step._

"_No. I want to do this now." Tony explained and quickly made a move so that he and Ziva were holding hands._

"_Well, hurry up then." Ziva exclaimed._

"_Ziva." Tony breathed. "The last eight months has been the best that I ever wanted. When I've been upset or angry you've always been there for me, calming me down, cheering me up. Understanding me the best when I've sounded like I'm crazy, giving me space when I've needed it and helping me and letting me get past my childhood by listening to me." He looked searchingly into Ziva's eyes and saw tears threatening to spill over and roll gently down her face._

"_Tony..." Ziva whispered as she watched Tony slowly get down onto his left knee and reach into his jacket pocket for a small velvet box. He twirled it around in his fingers, smiling softly at himself and Ziva._

"_I never thought that after Wendy broke up with me that I would meet someone else that means so much more to me. I love you with all my heart and more." He choked out, trying to hold back tears of his own. He spun the box around so it was facing Ziva and he slowly opened it to reveal a small delicate ring with diamonds within it. "I want to grow old with you, spend the rest of my days with you; I never want to waste a minute without you. Ziva, Will you marry me?"_

_She stood astounded at the question for a few long minutes; she couldn't form any words in a response, it was like someone had just reached inside her and removed the ability to speak and form words in her muddled brain._

"_Well?" Tony asked hopefully as he noted in his peripheral vision that Gibbs and McGee had quickly secured their suspect in the car and returned to the carrier. He saw McGee covertly take pictures with one of the crime scene cameras and made a mental note to thank the younger man later._

_Ziva never got a chance to reply before a gunshot penetrated the continual thrum of the rain. A millisecond after Tony cried out in pain and dropped the box to clamp his hand over his bleeding shoulder._

_She dropped to her knees in front of Tony and softly kissed Tony on the lips. "Yes." She whispered softly and placed the ring on her finger. "I was going to say yes anyway, you didn't have to get shot to trip me into it. Sometimes I don't know what flows through your dumb head Tony."_

"_Hey! I didn't plan this!" Tony retorted back through clenched teeth. Unexpectedly the pain that radiated from his shoulder shifted towards his left leg and intensified in pain._

His eyelids slowly flickered open and registered that he was still stuck in the wreck. His body caught up with his mind a minute later and he screamed out in agony from his leg. He peered down as much as he could and saw that a saw was hacking its way through his leg.

"You bastard!" Tony shouted at the top of his lungs as he made eye contact with Gibbs who was still kneeling where he was before. "You could have respected my wishes but no! You have to go and do what the great almighty Gibbs wants and goes back on his word because he thinks he knows what's right!"

"Tony...DiNozzo!" Gibbs shouted back to stop Tony from ranting on more. "I didn't authorize this because of my greed or it's what I think is right. I did it because a little boy shouldn't have to live without his mother or father within his life." Gibbs carried on speaking and at the same time lowering the volume of his voice so it was almost too quiet to hear.

"I don't have a son Gibbs. He died! He didn't survive just like my wife! Why should I be forced to carry on living when I have nothing to live for?" Tony ranted, only to be stopped by a groan of pain forcing its way out.

"You do Tony. I promise you, you do have a son. Before Ziva died the surgeons that were working on her decided to deliver the baby now to give both of them the best chance of survival. He's apparently very healthy for being so premature but he's still very ill. So they're going to keep him in until he's fit enough to handle being in a non-sterilized environment." Gibbs informed. "Duck's already been to see baby DiNozzo, apparently the little might already has that infectious smile of yours."

"I have a son?" Tony asked, completely baffled at the twist in events.

"Yeah, you do DiNozzo. That's why I authorized this." Gibbs replied and nodded down to Tony's leg which was now almost completely separate from the lower half of the leg.

Tony whimpered in pain as they slowly got through the last stages of the amputation. "Sorry." He curtly apologized to Gibbs.

"It's okay, I understand." Gibbs replied and squeezed the younger man's hand gently.

Silence remained between the two as Tony was lifted out of the car in the space that should have been the roof and placed into the back of the waiting ambulance. Gibbs went with Tony, constantly keeping a gentle hold on the agent's hand to make his presence and support continually known.

Even as they pulled up to the emergency doors of Bethesda, Gibbs never let go. It was only when the surrounding doctors and nurses stopped the gurney outside the double doors that would inevitably lead to the surgery wing.

"I know your scared right now, and in a world of hurt but don't think that just because your wife has died in the crash doesn't mean that you have to go to. You can't leave your son without any parents just yet. He needs to know that he's loved and cared for." Gibbs spoke softly to Tony's ear and ruffled his hair that was mussed and had the occasional streak of blood in. "You make me proud in there."

"Yes Boss." Tony whispered back and let Gibbs' hand gently slide out of the grip and the doctors pushed him through the double doors.

* * *

_**Please, please don't hurt me. I want to live I swear I do. I would gladly accept any reviews that you have for me and please stay tuned for more**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: I am so pleased with all the feedback I have gotten. I want to say a few things here; First of all, Kudos goes to Pancho1993 for proof reading this, hopefully there isn't going to be any mistakes. To the guest reviewer who called themselves NCIS Fan; Thanks for your critism and pointing out the darkness and the sideswipe, to answer about the tarmac on the aircraft carrier I'm not sure it is possibly some similar kind of high grade material that they use. It is my birthday today so even more reviews would be greatly accepted with chocolate cake.**_

_**As I forgot to do this on the first chapter I will now; DISCLAIMER: I do not own NCIS unfortunately. I am merely borrowing the characters and will return them in a worse condition than I got them.**_

* * *

Gibbs looked down at his watch and noted that it had been hours since he had last seen his senior agent. He knew that he had made the right decision about Tony the minute he had seen Tony's eyes light up against all the hurt and fear the second he heard about the son he had just fathered. He altered between sitting and staring at the double doors that held DiNozzo behind and pacing the length of the waiting area. He knew that Ducky at some point had come in to check on the progress because when he did he had brought a coffee that was left to cool on the table next to the chair that Gibbs had taken up residence in.

He watched as various Doctors and nurses came and go without giving him any news on the agent whom was more like a son to him than just a co worker. He never thought that he could let someone worm their way into his heart like that since Shannon and Kelly. He had just swapped from pacing the floor to sitting down on the uncomfortable hospital chairs when he heard the unmistakeable sound of heavy boots clomping heavily against the lino floor. He looked over to Abby who had tears streaking down her porcelain like face; he sighed heavily and opened his arms for Abby to wrap herself in.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She hiccupped softly and buried her face into Gibbs' neck. "Why didn't you call me?"

Gibbs was silent for a while before replying, "I didn't have time Abby, I just grabbed Ducky and brought him here then I went off to Tony." He leaned his chin on the top of her head. "There just wasn't any time to call anyone."

"So what? You just didn't call anyone whilst Ziva died in the OR, whilst Tony's leg was being amputated? Don't you think that we, Ziva's and Tony's friends would like to know when they're dying?" The gothic woman seethed and pounded her fist into Gibbs' shoulder.

"Abby, Abs. There wasn't time, I promise you that. When I got the call from Ducky saying Ziva had died; I was also receiving news that the rescue crew was looking at the amputation. I had to make the decision and I don't regret it one bit, but Tony won't see it that way." Gibbs placated and sighed softly.

Abby bumped her fist into his shoulder harder and glared at the older Marine. "He will. Tony isn't a person for holding grudges. Maybe not now but someday he'll see that you were just thinking about little DiNozzo."

Gibbs looked at her sharply before asking, "How did you know about the baby?"

"Ducky told me when he called to say that you might want some company waiting for Tony to come out of surgery." She answered bluntly before smiling sadly at the already harsh life the child had been subjected to within its first few waking hours. "He's six inches long, a little small but not much and weighs a pound; NICU's got him on a ventilator because his lungs are still under developed to take that amount of strain. Ducky said he was going back to see baby DiNozzo after he told the Director about Ziva, so Vance could notify Eli about her."

Silence fell on the two as they thought back to when they first met Eli David. At first he seemed like if he didn't get his own way he would do anything to make it happen, but as the love between the two younger agents grew, they saw a side of Eli that no one had ever saw in Mossad. He was accepting and understanding of Tony and even gave him his own blessing to marry her which everyone thought would be a big no, no in Eli's books. When Ziva announced the pregnancy to her father, the older man was delighted and helped the couple find a nice expensive house in the DC area that was close to schools that trips would be made to everyday in the distant future.

"Abs, Abby. You've gotta move; my legs are going numb." Gibbs whispered and watched as Abby bolted up off his lap and sat down into the chair next to him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." She muttered back and looked mournfully at the double doors in front of them. "Why isn't there any news about Tony? Someone should have come out by now. Something's gone wrong hasn't it?" She started to ramble because of the nerves that built up within her.

"No news is a good thing." Gibbs replied back "It means that they're still working on him and he's fighting."

"I know, I know that Gibbs. I just...I don't like being left in the dark about stuff like this when it comes down to my family." She retorted and folded her arms over her chest.

The double doors that they had both stared at a few minutes ago opened to reveal a rather frazzled looking surgeon. His hair was still hidden by the cap he had worn in the surgery but he had taken off the surgical gown to reveal the pale blue scrubs underneath. "Agent DiNozzo's family." His voice wary from the long surgery and of the tiredness he suddenly felt from being on duty for thirteen hours. Gibbs and Abby shot up from their seats and pounced on the surgeon, eagerly wanting news on their friend.

"Gibbs, Tony's next of kin and this is Abby Scuito; Tony's friend." Gibbs introduced gruffly. "Is everything alright with DiNozzo?"

"First of all I'm Doctor Steven O'Malley. Agent DiNozzo came through the surgery fine; the reason why it took so long was because as well as cleaning up and suturing the amputation site we found that he had a small laceration to his liver that was slowly bleeding so instead of finishing and doing another surgery on him in a few days we decided to do it then. We suspect that his right ankle is broken or fractured, he might not have felt this because of the trauma to his left leg; once he's awake in recovery he'll be taken up to Radiology to see what the damage is there." O'Malley took a deep breath in before continuing. "Before we started the surgery we noticed that Agent DiNozzo had a collapsed lung but we were able to fix that by placing a chest tube which will help the lung re-inflate over the next day or two."

"Is that why he had the pain in his chest whilst he was in the wreck?" Gibbs asked curiously.

"Most likely, yes, it would have been. We won't know for sure until he comes around from the anaesthesia and tell us if the pain is still there or not. Hopefully he'll be awake in the next half hour to a hour and be out of recovery and into HDU, within two hours, once we know that there isn't anything else surgical that has arisen."

"Hopefully?" Abby repeated the word that gave her some doubt in her mind and squinted at the doctor.

"Yes, Miss Scuito, hopefully. With any surgery there is always the risk of the person not waking up from the anaesthesia for some reason. However I do not think that Agent DiNozzo is going to be one of those who don't as he fought to get here to the hospital from the accident. He is a remarkably strong man looking at his medical records, so I see no problem that he'll be out of here within a couple of months, hopefully with his son as well." The doctor replied back soothingly. "I've asked for a Doctor Pitt to be consulting on this case given Agent DiNozzo's unique lung history and also because of the collapsed lung. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Can I go see him now, so he's not alone when he wakes up?" Gibbs asked kindly, which was unheard of from him.

"Seen as though you're his next of kin and under these circumstances, yes, I'll get a nurse to come and fetch you in a few minutes to take you." Steven answered the question. "If you don't mind I've got some patients to check up on." He excused himself from the pair and headed back through the double doors.

Gibbs turned sideways to Abby and looked at the saddened expression on her face. He gathered her up into another hug. "I know this is hard at this moment Abby, but what I need you to do is go update Ducky, so I can call him if I need to know anything as well as to go back to the Navy yard and update Vance, because I'm sure that Ducky has told him. I also want you to look into any surveillance videos near the area of Tony's crash, see if you can piece together what happened, and try to get his car towed to NCIS to help with a reconstruction if you need to."

Abby nodded softly and wiped away tears that had started to form up in her red rimmed eyes. "I'll get McGee to help me with it. He's good at looking through tapes. Do you want anyone to come with you to see Tony?"

"No, not yet Abs. I'm sure Tony wouldn't want you to see him groggy from the surgery with his emotions clear on his face. If he wants any visitors when he's feeling better I'll call you and I promise you that you'll be the first person who gets to see him." Gibbs replied and watched the younger woman extract herself from the hug.

"Tell him, I'm glad he's still with us Gibbs." She asked and waited for Gibbs to nod back before turning on her heel and swiftly walking out of the waiting room.

"Mr Gibbs?" A small feminine voice spoke within the suddenly too quiet room. Gibbs looked around and saw that he was the only one left there waiting, he looked down at his watch and noticed that it was almost midnight. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed a long sigh of relieve that this horrible day was almost over.

"Yeah?" He replied to the short, blonde haired woman that was standing in front of him. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun that gave her a look of importance and no nonsense attitude, the pale scrubs she wore contrasted with her skin making it look as though she had olive skin.

"I'm Beth, one of the nurses that are looking after Agent DiNozzo during his stay in Recovery. Normally we wouldn't allow anyone to come back here but you're lucky." She spoke determinedly and set off towards the double doors, leaving Gibbs to quickly follow behind.

"I wouldn't call my agent being in hospital with half a leg missing, having to grieve for his wife and look forward to raising a premature baby lucky, nurse." Gibbs growled back to the statement.

"You're right, my bad. Normally I only have to treat people that are asleep or too hopped up on pain killers that they're not even sure of the day." Beth replied and walked into the Recovery suite. "He's in bed four; just press the call button when he's awake." With that she walked off to the nurses' station.

"It wouldn't hurt for you to learn some bedside manners." Gibbs muttered under his breath and stalked towards his too still for his liking agent. He gave Tony a cursory glance from head to toe and gulped at the unnatural emptiness underneath the blanket where his leg was. "Hey DiNozzo, I know you like it there in no man's land at the moment but you've got to come back to me and your baby. You're not finished in this world yet and won't be for a long time. So say whatever you need to say to Ziva and come back." He whispered softly as he leaned down so his mouth was next to Tony's ear. "I promise you, you are not alone in this, we will help you."

He turned and sat down in the chair next to the bed but grasped Tony's hand lightly within his. He closed his eyes for a second to try to blink away the tiredness that clawed at him but managed to doze off.

Almost an hour later he was awoken by the slight jerk of the hand he held and the increase of pressure on his hand. He looked bleakly at DiNozzo before finally recognizing that the younger man's haunted eyes were gazed upon him. He stood up, reached over and pressed the call button.

"It's okay DiNozzo, I'm here. Do you know where you are?" Gibbs asked while he waited for Beth to amble her way into the cubical.

Tony looked around blankly for a second before replying, "'ospital?" His voice slurred and croaky from the lingering effects of the anaesthesia, he gaze shifted back to Gibbs.

"That's right; do you remember what brought you here?" Gibbs' voice was gentle and kind, one that was normally used for victims that he had to interview, instead of the gruff voice that he normally used with Tony.

Tony was silent for a few minutes, trying to rack his brain for the reason. "'Reck?" He searched Gibbs' crystal blue eyes for confirmation, when he saw the man's eyes he nodded lightly, trying not to exacerbate the marching band that had taken up residence within his skull. "Hurts." He whispered and wriggled slightly on the bed.

"I know, you had a small laceration on your liver so they decided to do that surgery at the same time as finishing up your leg, they figured out that it'll be easier to do it then rather than having to put you under a second time." Gibbs explained and pushed the call button a second time. "A nurse is going to come soon and fix you up with some more of the good stuff okay?"

Tony nodded softly and shifted his gaze up to the ceiling, his mind replayed the last few seconds of happiness he had experienced before the crash.

_He turned his head and looked briefly at Ziva in the passenger seat whilst waiting for the traffic lights to change. _

_"What?" Ziva snapped in frustration that her back was started to hurt as well as her ankles from all the walking around they did. _

_"Just thinking about when we get home. Hot chocolate, a bubble bath and bed." He replied huskily and turned his gaze back onto the traffic signals. _

_"You're pampering me too much Tony. If you didn't tell Gibbs I would still be out in the field like I wanted to." _

_"Yeah well, sorry if you don't see it my way but I want my son to be fine in there; I don't want him being shot at before he's even born." _

"Mr Gibbs? You pressed the call button?" Tony heard the nurse ask and looked over to the woman, his pain and emotions too high to put up his usual antics of trying to flirt with her.

"Yeah, Tony's woke up and he says he's in a bit of pain." Gibbs replied back but never released the hold he had on Tony's hand.

Beth walked up to the bed, stopping so she could easily be seen within Tony's sight but could also look at the monitors that slowly beeped away. "Mr DiNozzo, I heard that you were experiencing some pain, can you tell me where it is?" She asked and noted down on the chart she had picked up from the side of the bed.

"Chest, side 'nd leg." He replied bluntly without taking a pause to think about it.

"Well, that's going to be expected with your leg, they've had to shorten your femur by a few inches so in the future you'll be able to use a prosthetic to get around on. Your side will be because of the incision site they had to do to fix the laceration and your chest will be because you have a chest tube there to help your lung re-inflate after it collapsed. Can you tell me on a scale of one to ten how bad it is?" The nurse retorted back with no emotion within her voice.

"Eight." Tony whispered and closed his eyes to stop the tears that he felt forming up in his eyes from escaping down his cheeks.

"Right, I'll go get some more morphine for you and we'll get that sorted out." She replied back and quickly left the room.

* * *

Vance sat back in his chair and sighed deeply, he hated long nights like this that kept him away from his wife and children. He hated this part of his job where he had to make calls of remorse to the family that was left behind. Despite the circumstances being different in the fact that Ziva didn't die by a bullet on duty she was still an NCIS agent it still fell down to him to call his long time friend about the passing of his daughter.

He stared at the open file in front of him that held the number to Director David's personal line, up until this day he had never needed to use. He looked at the differently set clocks on the wall and noted that it was almost seven am in Israel. He hated to start of the man's day off like this but he had to before he found out through the media. He picked up the desk phone and dialled in the number.

"Shalom Eli." He greeted when the Israeli picked up, trying to keep it light hearted before he had to get to the news.

_"Leon, Not that I don't mind talking to you but I'm sure you have more pressing matters than speaking with me."_

"It's about Ziva." Leon sighed and leaned back in his chair. "She was in a car crash earlier; they managed to get her out and to an OR but... She died on the table, we don't know the official cause is yet but it looks like it was internal bleeding from the crash. I'm sorry Eli."

There was silence between the two friends for a while, before Eli spoke again, his voice was now void of any emotion. _"The baby? Did they save the baby?"_

"Yes, they did, but he's got a long hard road ahead of him to survive this. He's currently in the NICU at Bethesda."

_"What about Meatball?" _

"Agent DiNozzo was in the car with Ziva, and the last update that I had about him was that in order to get him out of the wreck they were amputating his left leg. I'm not sure if he's been told that he has a son yet, but I'm sure if you come over for a while he'll be happy to see you. I can't imagine the situation that he is in at the moment."

_"I'll be on the next flight out once I brief my deputy. Do you know what caused the accident?" _

"No, not yet. DCPD claimed it first since it was looking just like a car accident but once they learned that two federal agents were involved they called in the FBI but I'm sure that Gibbs has asked Miss Scuito and McGee to look at it themselves to make sure everyone is doing a good job."

"I've heard nothing about the driver and passengers in the other car, but then again they'll be too bothered to save their lives rather than thinking about what happened."

_"Leon, I know you will want everything to go legally, but if it doesn't happen, I give you my personal promise that we will make the people responsible pay. Go home to Jackie and the kids, it must be late there. I'll see you soon." _Eli replied and disconnected the call between the two.

Vance put the receiver back and sighed. He really wanted to follow what Eli had said but he knew that he wouldn't be able to get any sleep until he found out the reason. He picked up the receiver again and dialled the familiar number to the FBI director.

"Frank, the car crash you took of DCPD earlier today because two of my agents were involved, do you have any leads on how it happened?" Leon asked calmly.

_"You're calling me at midnight when I want to get a few hours of sleep for a case? Hell Leon, I know some of your agents are hard asses and don't need sleep but I thought you did." _

"I can't sleep until I manage to get some closure to all of this; you know how it is when it's one of your own." Vance replied.

_"Are you sure you want to know?" _The man was greeted with silence coming from Vance's end of the line. _"Fine then; it looks like the driver of the other car was high on Meth and twice over the limit. From what I could tell is that he was too impaired that he thought he was going 30 when he was doing 100 and he thought that red meant green. For your agents I think they were just simply in the wrong place at the wrong time." _

"What about the other passengers in the car? Were they all high?" Leon asked softly.

_"Yeah, they were. They've all been treated at hospital and everything; they've come out of this with just broken bones and concussions; As well as charges for various things, the driver more than the others."_

"How old was the driver?"

_"Twenty. Up until this he was in College working on a law degree to become a Judge. I think he's just realising how much he has messed everything up." _

"Yeah, well instead of helping out at the DA's office next fall he's going to be in prison serving twenty to life. Thanks anyway Frank; call me in the morning if you have anything else on the case."

_"Will do; also give Agent DiNozzo my sympathy's as well as the agency's. I know some of my people are planning something but I've been told its top secret, it's been mainly led by Fornell and Sacks. Oh and also the media has gotten wind of what's happened so don't be surprised when it's plastered all over the television tomorrow and there's reporters camped outside NCIS and Bethesda." _

"Thank for the heads up Frank, I'll set up a small press conference when they arrive and also get Gibbs to let me know what I can say about DiNozzo, because knowing him he'll want everything to be kept quiet but I don't think that's going to happen."

_"Me neither, now I'm going back to sleep, I'll talk to you tomorrow." _Frank replied and roughly hung up the phone.

Vance placed the phone down for a second time, finally grabbing a few things for home and headed out of his office; at this time of night it wasn't unusual for most of the desks to be empty, seen as though three quarters of the agents within the DC office worked local cases that didn't require for them to link up with another time zone_._

* * *

**_Hums happy birthday song to myself_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N; Hey everyone; it's me again. Sorry for the little bit of a delay but I won't bore you with excuses, although I will apologize in advance as updates may be unpredictable as I am starting college. As always kudos to Pancho1993 for her help and proof-reading.**_

_**Happy reading :)**_

_**MissMushy**_

* * *

Gibbs sat next to his sleeping agent's bed in a more private room than Recovery. Once Beth had given Tony a dose of Morphine, they had quickly whisked the young man up to Radiology and quickly confirmed that his ankle was broken and sported a plain white cast on it.

He held the sleeping agent's hand within his, hoping that the connection between them would let the man know that he was there for him as well as a lot of other people. Staring at the ominous empty space on the bed whilst feeling the rest of the night slowly pass second by second and noting every miniscule movement that Tony made throughout his somewhat peaceful sleep.

Every few hours the door would quickly squeak open as a nurse came in to check on Tony's vitals and bring yet another coffee for Gibbs that they were so glad to offer. Time passed on and the room slowly got lighter with the rising sun.

"Gibbs?" Tony spoke groggily and blinked slowly in an attempt to try to get rid of the sleep that clung to his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm here." Gibbs replied and shifted so that Tony could see him. "Do you need a nurse or anything?"

Tony shook his head silently to the question. "You've been here all night?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah, I had to make sure that you wasn't going to just die on us didn't I?" Gibbs retorted back with a soft smile across his face and squeezed Tony's hand lightly.

"You shouldn't have." Tony muttered back and looked away from Gibbs, silently cursing at the tears that pricked at his eyes and threatened to spill down his face.

"Hey, I wanted to be here with you. I want you to help you get better okay?" Gibbs soothed the younger man. "I want to help you and your son leave here and live a happy life like I know you're both going to. There's always going to be a spot open for you on the team when you want to come back."

"Why? It's not like I can be an agent with one leg Gibbs, I won't ever be able to pass the fitness." Tony retorted back. "Even if I could Vance wouldn't let me back because he hates me." He whispered the last part.

"That isn't true Tony. Vance cares a great deal about all of his agents."

"Then why did he send me agent afloat for eight months because I got Jenny killed? I don't blame him to be honest; seen as though I got Kate killed as well."

"No. No you didn't get Kate or Jenny killed Tony. Kate died because of Ari, not you and Jenny died because of her own mistake years ago before she was director. It never was and never has been your fault about their deaths Tony. You need to stop putting all this weight on your shoulders over the years because soon you're just going to collapse underneath it all." Gibbs spoke determinedly. "Don't burden yourself with anymore guilt Tony, you have a son to look after now and he can't look after himself."

"It's my fault Ziva is dead." Tony muttered to himself but Gibbs' acute hearing picked up the remark.

"No. Tony. No it isn't your fault that she's dead; it's whoever was driving the other car's fault, not yours. You were just expecting it to be just a normal day, going out to the mall to get ready for your son. You weren't expecting that car to hit you Tony."

"I should have looked more before crossing. If I did, Ziva wouldn't be dead; we would be at home now. I should have looked harder." Tony sobbed softly, finally letting the tears flow freely down his face.

"You were at a cross road Tony. One with Lights; your side was on green, you did nothing wrong Tony. None of this is your fault."

"Just leave Gibbs, please. Just leave me alone." Tony whimpered and roughly swiped at the tear tracks that had carved a path down his cheeks.

Gibbs sighed deeply before finally replying. "Okay, I'll go check up on the baby for a while to give you some space. I think your doctor will be making his rounds soon though okay, if you want me here just have them give me a call on my cell." He walked out of the room and quietly shut the door behind him; he sauntered down the winding hospital corridor to the elevator and rode it up a level to the neonatal unit where he saw Ducky lounging in a high backed arm chair in front of the window that allowed the new parents to look in on their child in the NICU.

"Duck, don't tell me you've been here all night." Gibbs spoke as he got close to the older M.E.

Ducky startled slightly at the sound of the marine. "Oh, no Jethro. I haven't been here since the poor lad was born. Abigail came round at about three and offered to watch over him while I went home to grab a few hours sleep as well as some food."

Gibbs looked through the window and quickly sought out the incubator that had a sticker at the front naming it's occupant as baby DiNozzo. From the angle that he had he could only make out the small form within the box within the maze of wires that ran to the baby, one thing that drew his attention the most was the miniature sized ventilator that ran out of his mouth, allowing even regulated breaths into his under developed lungs.

"How is he?" Gibbs asked without taking his gaze off the box.

"He's held stable throughout the night, but that doesn't mean he's out of the woods yet. In medical terms he shouldn't be as strong as he is at the moment with how premature he is. How is Anthony?" Ducky replied.

"Medically, he'll be fine with a lot of physio and a good support system but emotionally… I don't know Duck. I was talking to him earlier and it just seemed as though he wanted to be dead instead of here. Maybe he hasn't fully understood that he can't just think about himself anymore, or he just can't stand the thought of just not seeing Ziva anymore and having to care for a child that he hasn't even met yet."

"Well, you can't blame him for being down at the moment. The lad had just lost his wife in a horrible accident. You can't purely expect him to get over it in a few hours." Ducky retorted.

"I'm not Duck. Hell it took me nine months of drinking myself stupid everyday and staring down the barrel of my own gun before I realized there was life after Shannon and Kelly were killed. I just don't want him to follow down the same path that I did and actually pull the trigger. I just want him to know that he isn't alone in all of this and that he has a lot of people that care about him even if he doesn't realize that yet." Gibbs snapped and tore his gaze away from the NICU and onto his friend.

"The nurses are starting to ask if Anthony has a name for his son yet." Ducky asked, knowing that Shannon and Kelly was a sore subject for the marine. "Have you spoken to him about it yet?"

Gibbs didn't reply verbally he just shook his head negatively.

"Why haven't you?" Ducky spoke, his voice laced with a condoning tone that he usually reserved for when Jethro and Anthony usually down played or totally hid an injury all together.

"Duck…" Gibbs replied exasperatedly, "He's only been awake twice and the first time he wasn't up to much talking, he could barely get his head together to tell me that he was hurting, and now he thinks that it should have been him to die; not Ziva. Trust me, it's not the right time for him to start talking about what his son should be called because he'll only pick something in the heat of the moment and not put any thought behind it."

"Ah, I see." Ducky replied thoughtfully. "Well, you should approach the subject with the young lad soon…" The rest of the sentence he was thinking of was cut off by alarms suddenly screaming around the cot that held their latest addition of their dysfunctional family. They watched as doctors and other medical personnel blocked their view, just before the alarms was replaced by one long ominous beep that shook both men down to their core.

* * *

Vance strode confidently down the hospital corridor, counting down the rooms as he went until he got to room 498. He waited outside for a second wondering if the occupant would like to see him so soon before taking a deep breath and lightly knocking on the door before walking in.

"Agent DiNozzo." He breathed out softly and looked at the distressed man lying in the hospital bed. Vance walked around the bed and sat down in the visitors' chair, waiting for Tony to finally acknowledge him.

"Director." Tony whispered lightly but kept his gaze away from the man. "Come to tell me that I don't have a job to come back to yet?"

"No, no I haven't and as far as I'm concerned your desk will remain empty until you don't want it anymore. I came to talk to you about what happened, the media has gotten wind of it and are starting to demand a conference about it. You don't need to do anything; I just want to know what details you want to be left out."

"What do they already know?" Tony demanded and finally turned to glare at Vance.

"Just that late yesterday afternoon two federal agents were involved in a serious traffic accident; resulting in the death of one of them and the other to be critically injured, also that the occupants in the other car was high on Meth and drunk at the time. Do you want me to identify you and Ziva as the two federal agents as well as that she was pregnant at the time?" Vance asked.

Tony was silent for a couple of minutes mulling over the question a thousand times in his head. He lifted his hand and rubbed it along his forehead before replying; "Okay, you can tell them what they want to hear as long as they don't come running here trying to get an interview from me, because I'll have security pushing them back out on their butts."

"Including the situation with your son?" Vance clarified.

"Yeah, whatever." Tony replied off-handedly before asking. "Are the others okay?"

"They mostly just got cuts and bruises as well as a few broken bones. We're going after the driver for the murder of a federal agent, the attempted murder of another as well as other charges."

"Good." Tony muttered under his breath.

"Just let me worry about everything okay? You just focus on getting out of here and moving on from this with your son." Vance placed a comforting hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed gently in a form of support.

"I don't know if my son is even going to survive yet." Tony replied desolately and looked away. "He hasn't been born for more than a day and already he might die."

"Of course he's going to survive this. I bet he's more stubborn than you and Gibbs put together already, he has to be to have survived this long Tony, just don't give up on the little mite yet; they can surprise you a hell of a lot. Have you thought up of any names for him yet?"

"We had a few names but we just never got around to picking the right one for him, we whittled it down to two but I don't know, now that everything has changed..."

"What did you come up with? Maybe I can give you an idea."

"Malachi Benjamin DiNozzo or Thomas James." Tony spoke of the top of his head.

"Let me guess, you were arguing for Malachi whilst Ziva was arguing for Thomas." Vance stated softly and chuckled.

Tony nodded in reply. "She kept saying that we should go with Thomas James, because then we can just nickname him TJ but I wanted something in there that represented his Middle Eastern heritage."

"I think deep down in your heart you've always known what your son was going to be named and you have to just follow with that instinct seen as though in years to come your going to be shouting it when he starts to ignore you and become a teen." Vance said wisely.

"What? Ralph, you think I should call my son Ralph?" Tony chuckled lightly.

"That was the first name you thought of?" Vance asked astounded.

"Yeah, until Ziva threatened me with bodily harm if I ever did. I think she would come back just to hurt me if I called him that now." He replied with a soft smile ghosting his face.

"I think she would."

"So, Thomas James?" Tony asked and looked hopefully at Vance.

"Thomas James DiNozzo." Vance stated back with an approving look. "Just remember to take all the time you need Tony; I'm not going to force you to start back if you're not ready yet."

"Thanks." Tony replied back and watched the director approach the door, open it and walk away.

* * *

**_Am I mean or what? ;) Reviews are greatly accepted with the reward of virtual cookies and hugs._**

**_P.S. I don't know whether in the U.S. if you guys call it a incubator or warmer, if someone could verify for me that would be greatly helpful. I did google it and it said warmer but if it is different, please say._**

**_Edit: Thanks to LAG0802 for helping me with the medical termination that I was a bit confused on._**


End file.
